The Way You Feel
by LordByronMudkippington
Summary: Weiss is having nightmares, and Ruby's gonna stay up to help her through it. She may be falling asleep sitting up, but by golly she's gonna do it. (This is for day two of White Rose Week. Topic: Touch.)


She felt cool to the touch, like she'd been sleeping under the vents all night. That wasn't new, because Weiss always felt pretty cool. She wasn't sure if it had something to do with her semblance or if she was just really committed to her role as an ice queen. It wasn't bad, though. She liked to press her forehead against Weiss's arm on warm days to feel the chill seeping through her skin. It made her smile every time she did it, though she wasn't sure why. Weiss was never satisfied with "I don't know" as an answer to why she was smiling, even if she really never did know.

She also felt tense. Though her eyes were closed in sleep, her brow was furrowed, as if her dreams were troubled. This had been an unfortunate trend she'd noticed lately. It was clear that Weiss wasn't getting her beauty sleep, as she called it. The blackening bags beneath her eyes were enough to tell, though she'd always head right to the bathroom in the morning to cover it up. She seemed to think if she was quick enough, it would escape Ruby's notice. There weren't many things quicker than her, though. She could always tell they were there.

Slowly she rubbed her fingers along Weiss's arm, drawing lines up and down her skin. She hoped that her movements would be soothing enough to dip her back into a more peaceful sleep, but it appeared to be unsuccessful. Weiss let out a mutter: something that she couldn't understand. She leaned in closer, tilting her ear towards Weiss's face to try and hear her better. However, her words continued to be mumbled, as if she was speaking into her pillow. It concerned her further, but she wasn't sure what to do about it. Her fingers continued to stroke across Weiss's arm, wishing that it could be enough.

As quietly as she could, she shifted in bed and brushed Weiss's hair out of the way so she could plant a kiss on her cheek. Her lips ghosted across Weiss's skin, but it seemed to have at least a somewhat positive effect. Weiss started to calm down, her twitches stopping and her breathing becoming more steady. When she saw her face had relaxed, she breathed a sigh of relief. That was when she could really feel her eyelids starting to droop. It _was_ the middle of the night, after all. She laid back down in bed, putting her head on her pillow and staring up at the ceiling. Her eyes kept glancing over at Weiss in the dark to check if she was moving at all until she finally fell asleep.

It only felt like mere moments until she was woken up again. There was movement in the bed, but her sleepy brain didn't fully register it. It knew something had happened, but she couldn't get her muscles to move and do something about it. She drifted in and out of sleep before finally having Weiss's name slide through her mind. Though she was dead tired, she knew she needed to get up and make sure she was alright. Letting out a quiet moan of discontent at having to move, she lifted her arm and let it drop down gently across Weiss's waist. It landed against the bed, bouncing up slightly before resting on the covers.

"Huh?" Okay, there was a Weiss there just a second ago, wasn't there? Ruby groaned and pushed herself up, her body protesting as she sat up in bed. Her eyes stayed closed no matter how much she tried to keep them open, but she could hear something odd coming from the bathroom. It sounded like running water, and it stopped as soon as she heard it. Was Weiss washing her hands or something? Something in her exhausted state made her feel uneasy, and she got out of bed despite her body's craving for more sleep. She nearly fell right back into bed as soon as she was on her feet, but she pushed herself towards the bathroom.

When she opened the door, she found Weiss standing at the sink and staring at her reflection. The sound of the door opening drew her attention, and they both just stared at each other for a moment. It was really dark, since Weiss hadn't turned on the lights. Whatever reason she had for using the sink in the dark, it probably wasn't good. Something obviously had happened, and Ruby could figure it out even if her brain wasn't fully functional at the moment. Without a word, she walked over to Weiss and hugged her tightly.

"Did you have a nightmare?" Weiss didn't respond, which was all the response she needed. She pulled away from her and took her hand, gently leading her back to the bed. Weiss followed her without resistance, not saying anything as the two of them sat back down in bed. She sniffled quietly, which was a sound that broke Ruby's heart. She immediately grabbed Weiss's hand again, squeezing it tightly as she tried to force her eyes to stay open. "Want to talk about it?"

"No." She could barely hear Weiss's whisper, but she knew better than to push her luck. When Weiss didn't want to talk about something, odds were she wasn't going to change her mind. Ruby wished she would, though. It didn't feel like she could help her any when she remained mum on whatever nightmares were troubling her. Maybe she wouldn't be able to help regardless. The things Weiss had gone through as a kid were a lot different than Ruby's experience growing up. It didn't ever feel like she had the right to say things would be okay, no matter how much she wanted to. She didn't know what else to say.

"That's okay, Weiss." She scooted closer to Weiss, their hips bumping against each other. It was so difficult to keep awake: she was sure that at any moment, she would fall asleep sitting up. She needed to stay awake no matter what, though. Her girlfriend was clearly upset, and she couldn't just leave her to deal with this alone while she slept. That wasn't what a good girlfriend did.

To try and stay awake, she kept her hands busy. She slowly massaged Weiss's back, feeling her trembling slightly beneath her touch. It hurt to know she was in pain, and more so because there was nothing she could do about it. All she could do was be there for her, but that wasn't good enough. It didn't take away the nightmares. She felt tears pricking at the corners of her eyes as she kept massaging Weiss's back, occasionally slipping up to rub her shoulders as well.

"Hey..." Weiss turned around to face Ruby, lifting a finger to wipe away her tears. It felt nice against her skin, and she shuddered slightly. "Why are you crying? You're not supposed to be crying." Had she really been able to see her tears in the dark? No, that wasn't possible. She must've made some kind of sound that had alerted her: one that she hadn't realized she'd made. Weiss leaned in closer, her face shadowed in sadness as Ruby's eyes adjusted to the dark. "Ruby, you can barely keep your eyes open. I demand you go back to sleep at once."

"No can do." She mumbled, garbled by sleep. Her hands moved up to Weiss's face, cupping her cheeks. They were still soft from the moisturizer she always put on before bed. She smiled to herself as she rubbed her thumb in circles around her cheeks. "I'm not going back to sleep until you do." Her body definitely didn't like that, but she didn't care. Watching over Weiss was more important than getting a good night's sleep. She could just sneak a three hour nap in the middle of the day, which Weiss probably wouldn't like either. Can't always win, though.

"That's ridiculous! What if I stay up all night?" She couldn't help but giggle at Weiss's tone. No matter what the situation was, she could always conjure up this attitude. She was still the same stubborn princess that she'd been on the day they met. It was confusing and annoying back then, but she'd grown to understand where Weiss was coming from the longer they knew each other. The more she learned about her and the life she came from, the more it all made sense. She was prepared to die for Weiss's right to act like a stubborn brat sometimes.

"Then I'm staying up all night," she declared with as much confidence a sleepy Ruby could. Weiss just sighed, obviously getting nowhere with her surprisingly stubborn partner. Ruby took that opportunity to hug Weiss again, planting comforting kisses on her shoulder. "I can't sleep when you're worried about nightmares, Weiss. I just can't." The nightgown she wore was of a very soft fabric, and Ruby always enjoyed having it touch her bare skin. Rubbing against it made her feel excited in a way she couldn't explain. Yet another 'emotion without explanation' that baffled Schnee scientists to this day.

"You're impossible sometimes, you know that?" Weiss sighed and let her body relax as best she could. She leaned into Ruby, feeling more at ease having her next to her. Her presence was often enough to quell any fears raging inside her. When it came to her dreams, though, they were often as powerful as they were terrifying, at least to her. She shuddered involuntarily as the memories of what she'd woken up from hit her mind, a motion that didn't go unnoticed by Ruby.

"Yeah, but that's why you agreed to go out with me." Smiling in the dark, Ruby nuzzled Weiss's shoulder, slowly easing her down onto her back. Weiss followed her movements with no complaint. It was risky to be laying down, since she could pass out at any moment. She was hoping that the more comfortable positioning would lead to more important conversations, though. "I wish I could help you with your nightmares... Ooh, maybe I could sing you a lullaby before bed."

"Get real, Ruby. If anything,_ I_ should be the one singing a lullaby to _you_. You know I have the better singing voice." She settled down on the bed, turning around so she was facing Ruby. "I've... never told you about my nightmares, have I?" Ruby shook her head, feeling her heart lifting at the potential of actually getting to know what was hurting Weiss so much in her sleep. At the same time, she was scared about what she might hear, and if she was equipped to say the right thing. "I suppose we've been together long enough that I ought to tell you. You _have_ stayed up with me plenty of nights without knowing what was bothering me. No matter how many times I tell you to go back to sleep, I might add."

"You don't have to if-"

"I _want_ to, Ruby." She gently kissed Ruby to reassure her, then pulled back and closed her eyes. Having the images of her dreams in her mind hurt, but she'd just committed to speaking about them. Besides, not talking about them wasn't going to stop them from plaguing her regardless. "Most of my nightmares are about my family. Having my father always telling me how much of a disappointment I am. Being locked in my room and having no way of escaping." She opened her eyes slightly, a sad smile on her face. "Never being able to see you again because of it." Seeing all that pain in her eyes was enough to shatter Ruby's heart, but she wasn't done yet.

"I have nightmares of you, and Yang, and Blake all sacrificing yourself for the greater good, while I just stand there and do nothing. Of you thinking I'm crazy for having such silly little dreams." She laughed quietly, bitterly, biting down on her lower lip to keep from crying. Enough tears had been shed that she'd washed away in the sink. "Tonight, though... I... was standing in front of my mother's casket again, knowing that I had missed my chance to say goodbye to her. Feeling guilty that I'd never said anything nice to her until it was too late. Until only all those unfeeling mourners could hear my aching cries... Embarrassed that I was crying, at my own mother's funeral. What kind of messed up person feels ashamed of that?"

"Oh Weiss..." Weiss may have been holding back her tears, but Ruby was under no such compunction. She wiped the tears from her eyes, her fingers wet as she pulled Weiss into another tight hug. This time she refused to let go, wanting to spend the rest of the night holding her like this. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry you have to deal with all these nightmares, and that there's nothing I can do to help. I'd never think they're silly, though. Never. They're hurting you, and that makes it serious. I'm never letting you go, okay? Never ever. I'm gonna chase those stupid nightmares away and make you dream of good stuff! Like... cookies."

"Cookies?" Weiss quirked an eyebrow, poking Ruby's stomach. "That just sounds like something _you _dream of."

"And it's a good thing to dream about." The mood had been lightened for a second, but Ruby could feel the tension settling back down on them. It was heavy, and she swore that she could feel herself being pressed down into the mattress. "Is there anything I can do to help you feel better?" She knew the answer was going to be no, but she had to ask. If there was anything - _anything_ \- that she could do, she'd do it.

"It's fine, Ruby. You don't have to do anything more than you're already doing." Ruby blinked, tilting her head slightly in confusion. She wasn't doing anything. Sensing the confusion, Weiss smiled and pushed her fingertip against Ruby's lips. It was cool, but it made her feel warm inside. That really showed the truth about Weiss: something that Ruby felt blessed to be able to know. She was cold on the outside, but inside, she was warmer than anyone Ruby knew. "Just having you here with me helps in ways that are hard to explain."

"Oh, so now _you _get to have unexplainable feelings?" Smirking, Ruby stroked Weiss's arm, slowly and rhythmically. "Seriously, though, I haven't done anything. I'm just lying here."

"You don't have to be doing anything. Just having you here makes me feel more at ease."

"But you're still having nightmares, though..." Ruby frowned, resting her forehead against Weiss's. She closed her eyes for a moment, then quickly opened them again to avoid falling asleep. Even in such an emotional moment, she was still finding it hard to stay awake. Sleep kept being such a tempting mistress.

"I'm always going to have nightmares, Ruby. There isn't anything either of us can do about that." She sighed, the inevitability of such things making for a sobering middle of the night thought. "I feel better when I wake up in the morning, though. Because you're there next to me, and that's something no nightmare can take away." She let her finger trail across Ruby's jaw, smiling as reassuringly as she could. "Is that enough for you to finally go back to sleep? You're going to be exhausted in the morning."

"Mm... Only if you sleep too." Of course. Really, her stubbornness gave Weiss a run for her money.

"I will try. Is that good enough for you?" Ruby nodded, which finally meant it was time to try and fall asleep again. It felt like they'd been dealing with this ordeal all night, but when Weiss turned to look at the alarm clock on her nightstand, only twenty minutes had passed since Ruby found her in the bathroom. Shaking her head slightly, she laid back down and closed her eyes, Ruby's arms still wrapped tightly around her body.

The feeling of Ruby's warmth was something that she wished she could properly describe. Perhaps she was a hypocrite for trying to get Ruby to explain things when she had certain moments she couldn't explain herself. Having Ruby touch her made her feel good inside, and she found herself unable to sleep properly without her by her side. She laid a hand on Ruby's arm, gently touching her skin. The warmth that she exuded wasn't on the same intensity as Yang, but it could still make things uncomfortable in the dog days of summer. Right now, though, she was craving that warmth, and it was something she was able to get for free. No amount of her family's money could bring her what Ruby gave her.

Smiling to herself, she closed her eyes and fell into a peaceful, dreamless slumber. Though when she woke up, she swore that she could remember something about cookies...


End file.
